We’ve talked about how the human brain

processes only a tiny sliver of reality

40 bits per second out of 20 million.

​

To deal with that massive gap,

the brain creates shortcuts.

​

These shortcuts help us

keep moving through life

without burning out,

BUT,

they can distort

reality in ways that

can really mess us up.

​

Enter: Thought Holes.

​

They’re the potholes of perception —

mental distortions that shape

how we interpret the world

and how we show up in it.

​

And they’re crafty.

​

You may not even know you’ve fallen into one

until you’re knee-deep in self-doubt,

overthinking or spiraling anxiety.

​

In a recent issue, we broke down some of

the more common culprits:

Keyholing

Extremifying

Leapfrogging

Emotional Reasoning

​

This week we’re tackling four more

perception pitfalls to get familiar with so

you can spot them, stop them & steer your thoughts back on course.

​

Let’s dive in to:

Worry Spiraling

Binary Thinking

Catastrophizing

Disqualifying the Positive

Worry Spiraling (aka the Worry Habit Loop)

​

At first, worry seems helpful.

​

It makes you feel like you’re

doing something about

uncertainty.

​

That false sense of control feels good… for a second.

​

But, according to Dr. Judson Brewer in Unwinding Anxiety,​

worry quickly becomes its own reward.

​

It creates a loop:

1️⃣ You feel anxious.

2️⃣ You start worrying.

3️⃣ Worry gives you a sense of control.

4️⃣ That control temporarily soothes the anxiety…

…which reinforces the behavior of worrying.

​

That’s the 🤬 Worry Habit Loop.

​

It keeps you stuck in anxiety,

overthinking every possible outcome

and trying to out-plan uncertainty itself.

​

Spoiler alert: you can’t.

​

But you can interrupt the loop. Here’s how:

​

✅ Label the Fear

Anxiety thrives on vagueness.

Naming the source of uncertainty

gives your rational brain something to work with.

​

Try this:

Say out loud: “I’m feeling anxious because…” and finish the sentence.

Even if you don’t quite know for sure, guess.

​

Why it works:

Putting language to fear moves it from

the emotional center of your brain (amygdala)

to the thinking center of your brain (prefrontal cortex).

​

This shift alone creates a sense of clarity and control.

​

✅ Plan with Purpose

If the fear is valid, your power lies in preparedness—not panic.

​

Try this:

You know what you’re afraid (or you’re at least in the ballpark) now ask yourself:

“What would I do if that thing actually happened?”

​

Then write out a 3-step plan. Keep it short and simple.

​

Why it works:

Planning calms the nervous system by shifting from rumination to action.

Your brain no longer needs to spiral, because you’ve given it

something productive to focus on.

​

✅ Stick a Finger in Your Ear

This isn’t woo, but it is a little weird.

We’re accessing the nervous system’s backdoor to calm.

​

Try this:

Place your pointer finger gently in your ear canal.

Pull down slightly while taking five deep breaths.

(Dr. Nicole LePera swears by this.)

​

Why it works:

This activates your vagus nerve,

shifting your body from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest.

It physically interrupts the anxiety loop and signals to your brain that you are safe.

​

✅ Practice Self-Compassion

Worry is often your brain’s misguided attempt to keep you safe.

You don’t need to shame it —

you need to reassure it.

​

Try this:

Say: “I see you, fear. I know you’re trying to help. I’ve got this now.”

Then place your hand on your heart and take a breath.

​

Why it works:

Self-compassion deactivates the threat response.

​

When you respond with kindness instead of criticism,

you rewire your brain for resilience,

not reactivity.

Binary Thinking

​

Binary thinking that reduces the complexity of life

into black and white terms:

worthy or unworthy,

success or failure,

good or bad.

​

But life is in the gray.

​

Binary thinking might sound like:

💭 If they don’t agree with me, they must be against me.

💭 If I can’t do it perfectly, I shouldn’t do it at all.

💭 Either I’m thriving, or I’m failing.

​

It’s a shortcut inherited from our earliest ancestors

whose reality — and survival — boiled down to safe or unsafe.

​

But by our modern, saber-toothed tiger-less standards,

this way of thinking is rigid, oversimplified and

emotionally exhausting.

​

✅ Look for the Third Way

Push beyond the either/or trap by creating space for nuance.

​

Try this:

Ask: “Is there a third possibility?” or

“Could both things be partially true?”

​

Why it works:

This disrupts the brain’s reflex to

categorize everything as ‘all good’ or ‘all bad’

and opens the door to more accurate, grounded thinking.

​

✅ Watch Your Language

Certain words are red flags for binary thinking.

Catch them early.

​

Try this:

When you hear yourself say

always, never, only or can’t,

pause and rephrase.

​

Try “sometimes” or “right now” to add flexibility.

​

Why it works:

Language shapes thought.

Shifting your words helps your brain

soften the sharp edges of

either/or narratives,

making space for

possibility.

​

✅ Celebrate Partial Wins

Progress isn’t linear, and it’s rarely perfect.

Train your brain to value the in-between.

​

Try this:

Each week, write down one thing

that’s “in progress” and still

worth celebrating.

​

“I had a win AND I still have more to do.”

​

Focus on effort, not outcome.

​

Why it works:

This rewires your brain to recognize incremental growth and

reinforces a growth mindset instead of perfectionist thinking.

Catastrophizing

​

This is the mind warp of turning a stubbed toe into a full-blown amputation.

​

One small thing goes wrong and your brain leaps to a worst-case scenario.

💭 I missed a deadline → I’m going to get fired.

💭 My kid got a C on a quiz → they’ll never get into college.

💭 The client hasn’t emailed back → we’re going to lose the contract.

​

Catastrophizing makes it nearly impossible

to stay grounded in the present

or see things clearly.

​

✅ Interrupt the Narrative

Catch the leap before it becomes a landslide.

​

Try this:

Say: “I’m noticing I’m jumping to conclusions—what else might be true?” or

“Let’s pause… what’s happening right now?”

​

Why it works:

Naming the distortion as it’s happening breaks the trance.

You can’t challenge a thought you don’t recognize.

​

✅ Reality Check Yourself

Pull your thoughts back from the extremes with logic and data.

​

Try this:

Ask: “What’s the most likely outcome—not the worst one?”

Then list three neutral or positive possibilities.

​

Why it works:

Your brain is pattern-seeking.

If you give it alternative patterns to consider,

it can shift out of threat mode and into problem-solving mode.

​

✅ Zoom Out

Get perspective by imagining

how you’d talk to someone else in your shoes.

​

Try this:

Ask: “If a friend were going through this, what would I say to them?”

Then apply that same compassion to yourself.

​

Why it works:

We’re often kinder (and more rational) to others than we are to ourselves.

This simple shift activates empathy—and empathy offsets panic.

​

Disqualifying the Positive

​

This distortion shows up when you discount the good stuff,

brushing off compliments,

attributing success to luck or

downplaying progress like it doesn’t count.

​

It sounds like:

💭 Yeah, I got the promotion, but they probably didn’t have any better options.

💭 Sure, things are going well now, but something bad is probably coming.

💭 I crushed that presentation, but it wasn’t that big of a deal.

​

Disqualifying the positive keeps you from absorbing the goodness of your own life.

​

And when we don’t absorb the good, we stay stuck in

scarcity and self-doubt—even when we’re doing well.

​

✅ Track Your Wins

Your brain needs a record of success to draw from.

So create one.

​

Try this:

Create a “Proof File” in your Notes app or journal.

Add wins, kind words, thank-you emails

or proud moments every week.

​

Why it works:

This creates positive evidence your brain can’t argue with.

Repetition and review help rewire your default thought patterns.

​

✅ Receive, Don’t Deflect

Let the good land. Don’t push it away.

​

Try this:

When someone compliments you,

pause, smile and simply say “Thank you.”

Don’t qualify or diminish it.

​

Why it works:

Accepting compliments activates the brain’s reward system.

It builds confidence and trains your nervous system

to feel safe with being seen and valued.

​

✅ Attribute Success Honestly

You’re not “just lucky.”

You’re good.

​

Try this:

When something goes well, reflect on

the effort, intention, or skill

you brought to the table.

Own at least part of the win.

​

Why it works:

By attributing success to your internal qualities, not external flukes,

you reinforce a grounded sense of self-worth

and reduce imposter syndrome.

The Takeaway

​

Thought holes are sneaky.

​

They masquerade as logic,

but they’re distortions.

​

And they can rob you of

joy, agency and confidence.

​

The antidote:

1. Notice when distortions show up.
2. Name them.
3. Neutralize them by reframing.

​

You don’t need to believe everything you think.

​

You just need to

get curious about your thoughts

and be brave enough to upgrade them.

​

Try this:

Pick one of the thought holes from this week’s newsletter that feels especially familiar.

Then journal on it for five minutes:

• When does it show up for you?
• What does it sound like in your inner dialogue?
• What would it look like to challenge it next time?

​

Why it works:

Self-awareness creates choice and choice creates change.

​

I’d love to know — which of these thought holes hits closest to home for you right now?

Hit reply and share. I read every message and always love hearing how this work is landing.

​

And if this issue resonated with you, do them (and me) a favor...

forward this issue to a friend or colleague

who could use these strategies too.

​

xx, Nicole

​

​