When we talk about boundaries,

the conversation often focuses on saying “no”.

​

And no is really important… but it’s not the only option.

​

I know it’s popular to say

“if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no”

and I would agree, that’s an excellent approach…

​

when there’s no risk of shooting yourself in the foot.

​

For example, sometimes as a founder

you’re going to get requests from

potential or current investors &

prospective or active clients

to which you shouldn’t just

deliver a hard no…

​

even if you really, really want to…

​

But that doesn’t mean it’s an

unequivocal, enthusiastic yes, either.

​

In complex stakeholder relationships (in-laws, investors, etc.)

boundary-setting often isn’t binary,

it’s an art.

​

The 6Ds Framework offers a nuanced approach,

detailing ways to evaluate & address

opportunities or requests that

way not be a clear “no,”

or a clear “yes”.

​

Let’s explore.

​

First, we’ll get the easy ones out of the way:

the clear yeses, which are the Do’s and

the clear nos, which are the Deletes.

D1: Do

Some opportunities are a clear and immediate, intuitive Yes.

Low risk, minimal consequences, feels great? Do.

Other opportunities are a clear Yes, after intentional consideration.

For those, you have to know what you’re optimizing for

and process the decision through your

​Strategic Prioritization Checkpoints.

​

Made it through every checkpoint?

Do.

D2: Delete

Some opportunities are going to be

a gut-led ‘not a freaking chance’ kind of No.

​

Do not override those.

Delete.

​

Other Nos might seem like Yeses at first.

​

That’s where your Strategic Prioritization framework comes back in,

keeping you focused on the things that really matter and

letting you tap into my favorite type of math:

​Addition by Subtraction​

​

Founder Warning Flag:

A common mistake a lot early-stage founders make is

ignoring strategic priorities and chasing revenue.

​

Hear me: Not all clients are good clients.

​

You might get a bump of revenue

but that misaligned client is

going to be a massive

pain in your ass.

DELETE.

So that’s D1 & D2, Do and Delete…

Now let’s get into the hybrids.

​

Remember setting boundaries isn’t just about saying ‘no’,

it’s about being clear on what you say yes to AND

how those ‘yes’es are structured.

​

It’s defining the boundary in the context of reality,

not just Hell Yes or Hell No, but tradeoffs,

opportunity costs and the broader

scope of your priorities.

D3: Defer

If there is something on your plate that you can’t (or don’t want to) delete,

consider whether you can push it back to the flip side of crunch time?

​

Warning: This may require you to set aside any

people-pleasing or perfectionist impulses.

(Psst…that’s a good thing.)

​

Look at your list/pile of things.

What can wait?

Defer.

​

You’re a high-performing person.

​

You have goals, timelines &

self-imposed deadlines.

​

I get it, believe me.

​

You also have logic, judgment and agency.

You know what does and does not NEED to get done right this minute.

​

When crunch time hits, you can shift back the deadlines on

discretionary projects to give yourself

some breathing room.

​

It will be okay.

​

Pro tips:

If you see an opportunity to loosen a deadline on the work-front,

align with your team so everyone is on the same page about the shift.

​

If it’s a personal goal or project you’re pushing out,

the key is to stay accountable to yourself

by intentionally shifting your timeline,

not just setting it aside.

​

Decide on a date to pick the project back up and...

you already know what I’m going to say…

put it on your calendar.

D4: Delegate

Delegation is an underutilized and incredibly powerful skill.

​

Step one: Let go of the idea you have to do it all yourself.

​

I realize that is easier said than done for many of us.

​

Reluctance to delegate,

especially among high performers, is often

less about the task or responsibility and more about identity.

​

(If that rings true for you, let me know by replying to this email.

I’m working on a deeper dive into identity tensions

around delegation and would love to know if

the challenge resonate for this audience.)

​

But the thing is,

getting good at delegation

is one of the most effective ways

to unlock and elevate your own high performance.

​

And it’s a skill you can build over time with practice.

​

The first step: know what should be delegated.

​

When an opportunity or request surfaces

that isn’t a clear Do or Delete,

ask yourself:

​

Is this something that I can Do by Delegating?

​

If the responsibility falls outside your

core strengths or expertise and

someone else can do it better

(or just as well),

Delegate.

​

If it involves recurring tasks or

can fit into a standardized process

that does not require your unique input,

Delegate.

​

If it’s eating up valuable time that you really wish you were spending

on something that feels higher priority or more strategic,

Delegate.

​

If it presents an opportunity to invest in a member of your team

and create an opportunity for their growth,

Delegate.

​

Keep in mind:

Delegation isn’t just for the big stuff.

Every “small” thing you hand off frees up capacity for your bigger priorities.

​

Including the priority of YOU.

​

When I work with clients on delegation,

we zoom out to identify opportunities

across both home and work life.

​

Because anything you can get off your plate is off your plate

and sometimes it can feel more comfortable to

start the process and build the skill

on the home front.

​

Pro tips:

​

Create a delegation checklist.

Outline the project goals, key milestones, deadlines, and necessary resources

before handing it off to ensure clarity and accountability.

​

Be explicit about your expectations,

define what good & great look like and

make sure you’re on the same page upfront.

​

This provides peace of mind to you

and the person you’re

delegating to.

​

Choose wisely.

Match the task to someone with

the competency, bandwidth, and interest

to handle it effectively to your communicated standard.

​

Focus on the What not the How.

You defined what good and great look like,

now you need to back off.

​

Detach yourself from HOW the job gets done —

that’s for them to figure out (to your standard).

Follow up, but don’t micromanage.

D5: Downgrade

​

When it’s not a clear Do or Delete,

Downgrade can be a powerful option.

​

Downgrading a task means reframing the output so

you can do it with less effort while still

achieving the desired outcome.

​

This isn’t about cutting corners.

​

It’s being intentional about

where you’re directing your energy.

​

Perfectionism is the thief of progress and

perfectionism across the board is

a fast track to burnout.

​

Downgrading is about

knowing when the

80% solution is

good enough.

​

That’s how you create bandwidth to

invest in the real needle movers

and top priorities.

​

Otherwise, you’re spreading yourself evenly across

projects and responsibilities that don’t all

merit equal time, energy & attention.

​

I met with a client right before Thanksgiving

who was agonizing over all the things she “had to do”.

​

On her list of Musts: handmade place cards.

​

Now, you might not know this about me, but

I used to work at Paper Source and

I LOVE a good paper craft.

​

Still, there was no doubt in my mind

that handmade place cards should not have been

on top of her list or mind given all the other things this year.

​

The thought of not having place cards was a bridge too far,

so she came to a compromise: printed place cards.

​

They got the job done,

still served as a thoughtful, personal touch and

preserved space for my client to get the downtime she really needed.

​

Downgrade FTW.

​

Remember downgrading isn’t failure.

It’s strategic energy management.

​

Pro tips:

Once you’ve identified a candidate for Downgrading…

​

Identify the Must-Haves

Focus on the essentials of the task and

let go of anything that doesn’t

directly contribute to

the outcome.

​

Leverage Tools and Templates

Use pre-built resources,

like templates or automation tools,

to reduce effort while maintaining quality.

​

Time-Box Your Efforts

Set a strict time limit for

completing downgraded tasks

to avoid over-investing your energy.

D6: Design

The final approach to consider

when you don’t have a

clear Do or Delete

is Design.

​

Design involves finding a compromise

that honors your boundaries while

still fulfilling the request.

​

By negotiating the terms,

you create an outcome that works for both parties,

protecting your boundaries while still delivering value.

​

Let’s say a potential client asks for

a meeting outside of your

typical working hours.

​

They suggest meeting up in the early evening.

​

You really want this client and you want to say yes,

AND you also want to make it to your kid’s soccer game.

​

Design an alternative.

​

Instead of agreeing to their request,

propose meeting for coffee the next morning

or offer to move another call to accommodate their work schedule.

​

This demonstrates that you value the relationship

and are prepared to prioritize it,

just not above your kid.

​

Whether it’s

planning for virtual vs IRL,

meeting for breakfast vs dinner to preserve family time or

making the call audio-only instead of zoom so you can go for a walk,

there are ways to Design your Yeses so that they don’t come at the expense of yourself.

​

Pro tips:

​

Offer alternatives.

When negotiating terms,

present options that work for both parties

that are filtered by what works for your boundaries.

​

Be creative and strategic with what you can give.

Tradeoffs are involved in all compromises.

Know what matters most to you

and Design around that.

​

Be prepared to give on options

that don’t undermine what

you’re optimizing for.

Boundary-setting isn’t always black and white.

​

When something isn’t a clear “Yes” or “No,”

it’s an invitation to be strategic and creative.

​

The 6Ds framework offers a powerful way to

navigate those in-betweens with intention

so you can protect your energy,

optimize your time, and

show up fully where

it truly counts.

​

Whether you Do, Delete, Defer, Delegate, Downgrade, or Design,

each approach allows you to honor your boundaries

while staying aligned with your bigger goals.

​

As you approach the next week, month, year…

when faced with a new request or opportunity that

doesn’t feel like an immediate “YES!” (DO)

or a definite “No!” (DELETE),

ask yourself…

​

Can I extend the timeline to DEFER the deadline?

​

Can I DELEGATE the responsibility?

​

Can I DOWNGRADE the output to something

less time-intensive without compromising the impact?

​

Can I DESIGN a better solution by negotiating the terms of the commitment?

​

So, what’s one commitment you’ll approach differently this week?

I’d love to hear how you’re putting the 6Ds into practice,

and I’m here to celebrate your wins and

work through your challenges.

​

So hit reply and let me know!

​

xx, Nicole

​