Straightforward strategies to pursue your purpose, accelerate your growth, show up as your whole self, increase higher order thinking and align your time with your values. What to try. Why it Works. For When it Matters.
3 Ways to Measure your Personal Growth (and 7 ways to celebrate it!)
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Personal growth is squishy in a lot of ways. Nonlinear, hard to explain, harder to measure and so gradual it can even be hard to notice. Its impact is felt through tiny shifts in mindset & behavior that are almost imperceptible, yet profoundly impactful. This can be tough for me. I like to measure things. My mind craves the concrete and the quantifiable. So I’ve always been drawn to (okay… maybe a little obsessed with) the idea of tracking & measuring personal growth. And while I haven't (yet!) identified a singular metric that captures it, I have discovered ways to measure my growth, to identify & acknowledge it and to attune myself to noticing when it happens. Why does that matter? Because recognizing my growth means I can celebrate it and when you celebrate your growth, you feel good about yourself and you recommit to the process. When you recommit, you grow more. It's a self-perpetuating virtuous cycle. Plus, who doesn't love a celebration? In this issue, we’re going to explore 3 ways to recognize & measure your own personal growth. Whether it’s
these indicators are undeniable measures of your growth. They may not be as concrete and quantifiable as some of us would ideally like (👀)... but they are tangible evidence of how far you’ve come and how much it matters. And, they are definitely cause for celebration. Growth Indicator #1: Cycle Time AccelerationOnce you start doing the work of personal growth, you're making a conscious effort to step away from your defaults and step into a more intentional way of being. There are two versions of you that exist side by side: Old You & New You. The Old: reactive, wounded, hardened, fear-based, battle-worn. The New: aware, aligned, flexible, intentional, empowered. The work of personal growth is consciously choosing the New until New becomes normal. Along the way (and forever) Old You will reassert itself. And that's okay. Two things are true: you're growing & you're human. Growth isn’t about never slipping into old patterns. It’s about having the awareness to know that has happened, doing the work to understand why and recommitting to New You. When you stay aligned with New You, that’s growth. When you default to Old You and then realign with New You, that’s growth. When you are too exhausted to function and Old You takes over, that’s human... and then at some point, after you rest, reset and realign, New You comes back online. That's growth. The time it takes to complete a cycle from Old You kicking in to New You coming back online is your Cycle Time (CT). The more CT increases, the closer you get to real-time Alignment. New You and Now You, one and the same. After a heated argument with your partner
you used to feel out of sorts for an entire weekend,
ruminating on the conversation, rehashing your replies.
Now, after some time reflecting and processing,
you’re able to find clarity and peace
within a few hours.
That's growth. You’re in a difficult meeting with your team, and
a colleague’s dismissive comment
throws you off balance.
In the past, this might have derailed your ability
to contribute for the rest of the discussion.
Now, you feel flustered initially, but instead of getting thrown off,
you pause, take a breath and remind yourself of
your role in the conversation.
Within the same meeting
you find your footing again and
are able to contribute without lingering resentment.
That's growth. Attune Yourself: Improve your Cycle Time awareness by creating your own “recovery clock”. After an experience that triggers a misalignment, take note of how long it takes you to feel like yourself again. By checking in periodically — right after, an hour later, the next morning — you’ll become more dialed into CT accelerations, giving you real-time evidence of growth as it happens, as well as valuable information about circumstances that slow down your Cycle Time and may warrant additional exploration. Time to celebrate. Growth Indicator #2: Frequency of DysregulationThose slips out of alignment and back to Old You are often moments of dysregulation. Something happens, you perceive a threat and then your nervous system kicks into fight, flight, or freeze. That nervous system response that once seemed automatic becomes less frequent as you do the work. It takes more significant challenges or affronts to destabilize or dysregulate you, so you're triggered much less easily and much less often. The reduced frequency of dysregulation is a measure of your personal growth. Maybe you used to feel triggered by minor feedback at work,
spiraling into self-doubt and anxiety.
After working on yourself, you’ve noticed that it now takes a more significant issue
to cause the same level of upset, or that the same feedback no longer derails your entire day.
That's growth. Maybe you used to get heated over homework battles,
engaging in an argument with your kid
that became a downward spiral.
Almost every school night ended
in slammed doors, tears and
withheld desserts.
After working on managing your emotional triggers
and understanding your own responses,
you notice a significant shift.
Now you can approach the situation more calmly.
Rather than reacting in frustration & anger,
you check in with yourself
and breathe.
Maybe you even leave the room for a beat.
Instead of feeding the downward spiral,
you create space to understand the resistance.
You still might eventually lose your shi*t,
but now it takes a larger or longer pattern of defiance,
or a particularly stressful day leading up to homework time,
to provoke the level of dysregulation you used to experience daily.
That's growth. Attune Yourself: Build awareness of your reactiveness by creating a “trigger journal”. Jot down situations during which you get triggered and ones that previously would have caused dysregulation, but didn’t. Note how you respond now compared to how you might have reacted in the past. “Was my reaction more or less intense than it would have been six months ago?" This practice helps you recognize the dulling of your triggers and the growing space between trigger and reaction, allowing you to track (and celebrate) the increase in your emotional resilience over time. A trigger journal can also help you figure out where to focus your effort in the next phase of your journey. The triggers that stay most potent over time are the ones that require deeper — or different — work. Growth Indicator #3: Softening of IdentitySeveral years ago, I received a gift in the mail from a former colleague turned new friend. One of the items was a copy of the book Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff. I'm pretty sure I harumphed out loud and maybe even rolled my eyes a bit. When I called my friend to thank her, she asked if I'd ever read the book. “No, not yet”, I said (“not a freaking chance” in my head), “It might be a bit too... touchy-feely for me” I told her I'd give it a try, and then proceeded to place it on my bookshelf, where it sat, neglected, for a very long time. Back then, I didn’t identify as someone who would read such a book, nor, TBH, as someone who would engage in self-compassion. My identity was hardened around the idea that I didn’t need (or deserve) such a thing. When I eventually did read the book, it helped change my life. Fast forward to now: I intentionally practice self-compassion daily, it is integral to my coaching work and I have gifted that book myself, more than once. Quite a shift. That's growth. Growth happens when you challenge the fixed notions you have about yourself and become more open to seeing yourself as adaptable. Instead of believing you are defined by static traits or behaviors (“I’m just bad at confrontation,” “I’m an introvert,” etc.), you recognize and embrace your ability to evolve. It's a softening of identity that comes from the work to release prior grievances and resentments, break free from your limiting beliefs & internalize a new narrative. You're not limited by past versions of yourself. Change is possible. You used to tell yourself, “I’m just not good at networking.”
Now, after intentional self-work, you recognize that
while networking doesn’t come naturally,
you can develop those skills, and
your identity isn’t fixed
in that limitation.
You intentionally cultivate networking skills
and seek opportunities to practice them.
That's growth. For years, you carried the belief that “I’m not worthy of success”.
Whether it was due to external messages from others,
past failures, or internalized doubt, this identity
shaped how you approached opportunities.
You second-guessed your achievements,
avoided applying for promotions,
shied away from taking risks.
You attributed past wins to
luck or circumstance
rather than your
own skills.
But as you’ve worked on your growth,
this identity has begun to soften.
You’ve started to challenge the thought patterns that held you back.
Instead of automatically thinking, “I don’t deserve this,”
you now catch yourself questioning that narrative.
You’ve begun to recognize the moments when
you downplay your accomplishments and
instead practice owning them, even if
it still feels awkward and unfamiliar.
This shift doesn’t mean the self-doubt is completely gone,
but now you allow space for the possibility that
success is something you deserve.
You’re more willing to say “yes” to new challenges,
step into opportunities with confidence, and
appreciate the achievements that
come your way as earned,
not accidental.
That's growth. Attune Yourself: Become more attuned to the softening of your identity by tracking the tone and spirit of your self-talk. The softening of your identity reflects a shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. Look for that shift in your self-talk. Throughout the day, pay attention to how you speak to yourself, especially when you encounter challenges or moments of success. Are your thoughts fixed? Do you berate yourself for "always" or "never"? Or does your inner voice recognize incremental wins? Does it honor and allow for progress or repair? Take a few moments at the end of each day to reflect on a specific situation when you noticed your inner dialogue. Was your self-talk negative, neutral, or positive? Did it reflect old limiting beliefs (”I’m just [blank]" or "I'm not [blank] enough”)? Or did it show signs of a more flexible, growth-oriented mindset? Over time, as you build this attunement, you’ll be able to notice patterns in your self-talk and make real-time adjustments to a softer, more compassionate, growth-minded approach. Now, that’s worth celebrating! Personal growth doesn’t come with built-in fanfare but every single small shift in how you handle challenging situations and every cycle back to New You is worth celebrating. Every. single. one. Celebrating those moments reinforces the positive changes and keeps you motivated on your growth journey. So here are some simple ways to celebrate when you “catch yourself” growing (even if it feels a little weird):
I usually go with 2, 3, 5 or 6. How about you? By incorporating small celebrations into your journey, you honor the growth you’ve already achieved and create positive reinforcement to stay committed to the process. Personal growth is such a gradual process that you can easily miss signs of your steady progress:
That is growth. Attune yourself to these indicators. This is hard freaking work we're doing and it deserves to be celebrated. You deserve to be celebrated. 🙌 Did this issue spark a realization of recent growth? Step one: Celebrate Step two: Share Reply to this email and tell me what you've uncovered. I love to hear (and celebrate) your growth stories! -- Nicole |
Time by Design
Straightforward strategies to pursue your purpose, accelerate your growth, show up as your whole self, increase higher order thinking and align your time with your values. What to try. Why it Works. For When it Matters.
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